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Monster

by Seeming

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1.
I've been told that love is patient Like a sniper, like a snake But I know that love is also blind Asleep when it's awake And it's tricky–love's a hippy But it's sure no pacifist Love's a storm that comes from nowhere Black and unafraid to go where It'll birth you with an incandescent blitz So be like lightning Incidental in your fire In your striking Be the chaos love requires Be like lightning Love dismisses all the angry boys It's bored with the police It electrocutes them, effortless No thought of their release That's the kind of love that makes you That's the raincloud you obey In the swiftly rising rivers in the flooding of the gutter Love will drown the world and wash it all away So be like lightning All the water and the fire In your striking Be the chaos love requires Be like lightning (sudden) Casting shadows in the flash In your striking (summoned) Be the chaos, the chaos There was nothing in the world before the spark No light to give a name to the dark Be like lightning (forever) You're just happening and happening And striking (whatever) And unraveling and dazzling
2.
You Rang 05:51
You rang They say In pain They wait They woke When you You spoke That only death is this true Ever notice The light (when we) Get to talking At night (well it's) The eyes The ears They watching They hear We've got the attention of the ghosts So what we gonna do with it We've got the attention of the ghosts So what do you need? Tell me what more don't we see? There has to be another everything I need there to be Say hello for me The night comes in on horseback Flying fury through the gate Your whisper comes unbridled Begging "Rider, wait. Rider wait." The night comes in on horseback Your throat is going dry But you keep on mouthing silently Rider wait, rider wait You rang The bell You drained The well You called The mist We chanted We kissed
3.
Monster 05:14
Who is the monster That swallowed up the kid Buried deep inside Where your heart lived before? Who is the monster That beats behind your eyes Hungry as religion Wanting more more more? But now I wake in the back of the family car Desert Storm on NPR Though I am eleven I know my depression even better than my reflection And I was never good with images So I never had what it takes to Put the visions into words You wouldn't mistake I shake shake shake but can't shake the dream I shake shake shake but can't shake the dream And now I've shed my every scale A monster swallows up its tail In a shape I know, but I know I've never seen Who is the monster Becoming all the kids? A hot and hungry coil With nothing at the core Who is the monster Pulling across the sand Can we run away, run away, run away, love? Isn't that what running's for? But now I I wake up again when I hear Public Enemy For the first time, it's infecting me I am weaponry made for the worst time No no no no Did you ever wish that decade or century Was all just a reverie And if every day was an ache it's okay One day you'd wake? I shake shake shake but can't shake the dream I shake shake shake but can't shake the dream And now I've shed my every scale A monster swallows up its tail In a shape I know, but I know I've never seen Under the dull brown sun of life in quarantine You can run away run away run away You can run away run away run away You can run away run away run away But who is the monster?
4.
You once shared a cradle with me Now you're wearing riot gear You claimed angelhood and fury Now your lungs are breathing fear You were the masthead of the ship Now you play the mutineer But I recognize you Yes I recognize you You were butterflies in legion Now you're smoke over the plains You were prides of turbid lions Now you're proud of being tame You walked the hallway of the gods Now you stumble through remains But I recognize you Still I recognize you I recognize Something's starting but I don't know what it's called I recognize I am thrilled and I am killed and I'm enthralled With my own two eyes I can recognize anything at all You were lighter than a ghost train Now you're rusted on the tracks You were the spirit of the age Now you're mislabeled in the stacks You once taunted executioners Now you're sharpening the axe But I recognize you Yes I recognize you And I saw the twentieth century Through nuclear family eyes Now I'm rising from the radiation Tried and traumatized But I'm hoping as you crush me For second you get wise And you recognize me Yeah you recognize You know my whispering I know you're listening And that you recognize yourself In all our distancing What we are witnessing Is a kind of conditioning Is all the dissonance From all the songs we wished to sing
5.
Radically 05:56
A nation in flames At the heat of our breathlessness The churches collapse As I’m rewriting Genesis On the skin of your throat Divine and degenerate That’s how I want you That’s how I want you To bring me oblivion Make me unrecognized Render me savage Render me weaponized I want you with lunacy My head full of daffodils A lists of demands The bombing of capitols That’s how I want you Radically Upside down and over my knee And I can be you and you can be me Anarchy When I want you —And I always want you— I want you radically The ways that I’ll have you Are global emergency The shape of your mouth Is crashing the currency So call the police in So try us for treason But that’s how I want you That’s how I want you To pull me with gravity Fracture and fascinate Ruin all history Casually assassinate Inciting the strange Becoming the animal We’ll eat the whole planet To prove we are cannibals That’s how I want you Radically From 360 degrees Each kiss a fatality A galaxy
6.
Grief 05:25
Grief is a craft I've perfected at last I burn Bow down and learn Into the mold I've been sculpted and cast Now sternly cry and yearn Discipline my wistful skin It's militant the grief I'm in so Grief is the plan guiding all that I am I bruised I paid my dues More of a process than I am a man Infused it's what I choose No machine can mourn like me No program can perform like me A master of the art I see Through eyes that never dry I grieve in measured symphonies The once and future infancies Unhatched, but still in sympathy I know the day they'll die Drop and give me ninety-nine tears Don't slow down your factory gears I don't know but I been told We need some discipline here
7.
We tried slashing strangers' tires We tried ending good romances Spouted blasphemy to get a rise Yeah we crashed a thousand dances 'Cause nobody warned us 'Cause nobody warned us though they knew Every grownup that you trusted Lied to you They were quiet as the dead When it happened to them Quiet as the dead They may as well have been So we tell ourselves We'll raise hell instead That we'll scream and scream But it's still quiet As the dead And I've walked with all my friends Through the graveyards where we laughed But now I now I read Between the lines of every epitaph 'Cause nobody warned them 'Cause nobody warned them and now the disease Fades into view in the heavenly blue In the face of every screen And the filthiest pages Of the godliest books Could all spring to life But you remain unshook Down in the burning jungle The zoo of the young Nobody warned you What would it have done?
8.
Goin' to Niagara Falls Somehow we were led to this Got no reason, got no cause The invisible hand clenched in a fist Bring your barrel, climb inside Huddle in the dark and ride You want feel the real sublime? Well this is what indifference looks like This is what indifference looks like This is what indifference looks like This is what indifference looks like Goin' to Niagara Falls To hang around the newlyweds All sanctified by the whipping wind All standing at the very edge In the shadow of the Iroquois By the Tuscarora Reservation The water looks so very very white 'Cause this is what indifference looks like This is what indifference looks like This is what indifference looks like This is what indifference looks like Goin' to Niagara Falls Billboards and casinos all around Advertise the planet's hungry jaws It's just a matter of time It's just a matter of time It's just a matter of time Before it's all swallowed down
9.
I woke up with you But I was not there I had squeezed out my heart I had cut off my hair And I shrugged in the mirror And I vanquished myself Attained a little nirvana Then did something else I stumbled to the ruins To study and to learn How to reconstruct the temple Which I proceeded then to burn And you with your dark eyes Are staring at me And I'm standing in scare quotes That everybody sees So what can I say When I fall to my knees? Gonna do something desperate For the hell of it And then I'll move on You can cast off all meaning You can run and run for days And yet here you are Well, your body anyway So you sit on a hill And you stare at the clouds Till they stop turning shapes And they start turning loud And maybe you'll find yourself Guilty and bold As you dance with the lightning In wingtips of gold And you stand up proclaiming It won't strike me twice Then it strikes you again And it strikes you thrice Now do you get why I keep rolling the dice? It's time to do something desperate For the hell of it I'm already gone I'll try not to endanger The life of a stranger Won't go running my car off the road And I'll try not to hurt you I won't mess with the virtue Of people who think it's worth holding Do something desperate For the hell of it As Edison electrocutes the elephant Do it pestilently full of reverence Until we are one Hey thanks for listening It's the last thing I'll say Can you stop by the market On your way home today? I think we're out of something I guess I could be wrong Was gonna fix a nice surprise But then I wrote this song
10.
11.

about

Monster: a companion release to 2020's The Birdwatcher's Guide to Atrocity, available in its 2CD version

9 tracks + 2 remixes
all songs written by Alex Reed
Aaron Fuleki co-produced and played drums
Sarah Hennies played drums on "Monster," "Grief," and "Go Small (Big mix)"
Sarah Maag spoke on "Grief"
Morgan Decker played trombones on "Grief"
"Go Small" originally appears on The Birdwatcher's Guide to Atrocity
"Doomsayer" was remixed by FIRES and originally appears on SOL: A Self-Banishment Ritual.

credits

released September 4, 2020

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Seeming Ithaca, New York

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SEEMING:

post-gothic
post-human
post-everything

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